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Between Lust for Love and Love 7a

The Dark Knight

I didn’t understand why but I couldn’t get him off of my mind. All throughout my day his eyes would flash into my mind, his smile, his strength. What was it about him that drew me? I shook my head. He was a jerk. He’s just going to hurt you. “Just walk away my mind said.”

I decided to listen to wisdom. I decided to treat myself to the fair one last time. I bought myself a cotton candy and started to walk the premises, smiling at the kids on the rides and laughing at the overly ambitious boyfriends trying to win an impressive prize. I looked around taking it all in when my eyes stopped dead on the back of a man’s head.

I lowered my cotton candy and watched as the man turned around, his arm around his girlfriend. It was my ex.

He stopped and looked at me, shocked. His mouth opened as if to explain. I put my hand up and backed up, walking as fast as I could to escape the range of his voice. Tears burst from my eyes until I could hardly see. He had lied, he lied so well.

I got into my car and sat for a moment, too stunned to even breathe. Pain, anger, betrayal and rage coursed through my entire body. I was so tired of the pain! I looked at the clock and threw my car into drive, speeding out of the parking lot like a bat out of hell.

The diner looked dimmer this time when I drove up. I sat down in a booth and glanced quickly around like a girl on the run, wondering if I would see the man in gray. My coffee came, and I grew anxious waiting; minutes passed and then an hour.

Finally I paid my check and was moving to leave when a shadow fell over my table with the most distinguished shape.

We got into his car and headed for his house. I was so raw I couldn’t think or feel during the whole drive there. We pulled into the drive, and he walked to my door, helping me from the car. I stumbled a bit, shell shocked and bitterly broken. I felt dizzy as he approached me.

It was too dark to see.

Fading Fast

It was a blur, my mind to foggy to comprehend that moment in the dark. I yearned for comfort, for his arms, but he pushed past me quickly and headed for the door. “Please,” I cried “Please hold me, just for a moment.” He looked at me coldly, a smirk in his smile.

I realized it was time to go.

He rushed me to his car and drove me to the diner. I sat un-responsive, numb to the core. “Hey” he said, his voice growing gentle. “Toughen up.” He leaned over and kissed me. “There, is that what you wanted? Seriously, get out. I have to go.” I stumbled out, and he shut the door. “I’ll be around baby.” Off he sped.

When I reached home, I fell on my bed. My body felt disgusting…I hated myself, I hated everything. Too numb to cry, I lied down, silent, still, eyes closed.

I fell into a deep, deep sleep, all the memories of him…slowly…fading…away…


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