"Hey." I whisper, scooting my chair closer to
his. I place my hand softly on his shoulder and
look into his eyes. "We all have cruelty in our
hearts...hatred...rejection...all those nasty
little things that fester up at the wrong
I stand up, grabbing his coffee mug to refill
"Nobody is made of hate...everyone has choice."
I continued atop my soap box of glory. I
laugh, surprising him as I sit his mug back down
near his hands.
"I mean, you can look at me if you'd like. My
hate was towards myself...and honestly when I
look at it all now, I really never thought I was
worth more than what you dished out to me that
He shakes his head, reaching up to rub his face.
"I can't tell you how terrible I feel about
that Braeden; and honestly, I don't even know
why I do. I've never felt terrible about any of
the other women I've hurt."
"Ian, it doesn't matter though, that's what I'm
trying to express here. I mean, the past will
always be there trying to invite us back into
our old games...but I've learned I have a choice
about who I will be today."
I laugh again, my eyes twinkling as I look down
at my coffee mug.
"In fact...you were actually the villain in my
dream a few weeks back. You were pretty mean
and you were trying to convince me I deserved to
be hurt. But then I figured out it wasn't
actually you...it was me who was giving the okay
to be treated that way."
Ian smiles, a look of irony on his face. "Why
doesn't that surprise me in the least that I
starred as the villain of your nightmare?"
I try to hold back my laughter and stay serious
but I can't and nearly spit coffee all over my
kitchen floor. Ian laughs, his eyes showing joy
for the very first time.
Sobering up, I take another sip of coffee and
look at him, my eyes full of life as I did.
"You don't have to allow yourself to be treated
like an evil being you know. That image you
have of yourself as the bad guy, you can change
that whenever you would like; it's called
I send him a sarcastic smile before returning
to sincerity. "Ian, you can be whoever you want
to be, and no one can stop you but yourself."
His eyes look down, fronting his composure.
I watch him for a few moments and then take in a
deep breath, rising to my feet with decision.
"Stand up." I say, walking over to him and
pulling him to his feet.
He goes along with my request, looking down at
me with humorous curiosity. "Is this when we
make up and dance?" He whispers, his spirit
still hiding behind his quick jesting sarcasm.
I shake my head and reach down for his hand,
bringing it up gently to my neck.
"Two weeks and four days ago your hand hurt me.
Two weeks and two days ago your hand saved my
life." I took his finger, tracing it over the
healing cut left behind by my assaulter.
"Decisions are powerful things." I whisper,
looking tenderly into his down-turned eyes.
It's quiet, the air still as the man dressed in
gray stands warmly in the sunlight of another
Without speaking, he takes off his gray trench
coat, revealing a clean white t-shirt below.
His arms are rugged, covered in the scars of
dark memories. With warm fingertips he reaches
and touches his heroins face, his ice blue
traces melting slowly in the sunlight of hope's
warmth, drifting far past his own dark gaze.
We all exist with a touch of gray;
Those dark places rooted in fear, anger
Reaching beyond our own dark gazes is
what we all must do to be The heroes we are
capable to be.
Step out of the gray recesses of your
Shine what no one else yet can see,
For only you can reach beyond your own
touch of gray
And find the love your heart so craves.
Click on the
shattered chocolate heart to find your truest